EFT for Problems with Men
(from a woman's perspective)
It’s easy to blame the man. It’s easy to make him the bad guy. Most cases, however, your man just wants you to be happy. And if you’re not happy, then that triggers all kinds of things in him.
So what do you do?
Part 1: Own It
If we as women "could" take responsibility for our part in a relationship issue, we could have something better than feeling good about ourselves for a moment (maybe) when he admits he’s wrong. We could learn something, for one thing. We'd have the ability to change ourselves and therefore change the the relationship dynamic, for another!
We'd get so much more out of taking "some" responsibility that we should at least consider it.
Part 2: The Reasoning
First of all, I don't condone staying with a man who abuses you, cheats on you, or otherwise hurts you. I'm the first one to walk away from a relationship like that, but I do make sure I've learned how I attracted it, so that I can attract something better in the future.
Your energy may have attracted someone like this and it "may" be possible for that man to change when you do, but it is also possible that patterns/habits have been developed that can be hard to break without healing on both sides.
That said, if the relationship is salvagable, you might consider your part in the equation. I think maybe "sometimes", this may be the case...
You get mad.
But why do you get mad?
All he wants is for you to be happy. If you're happy, he's safe.
If you're not happy, he worries about losing you and then he does all sorts of crazy things when he doesn't feel safe. And he doesn't even know he feels unsafe. All he knows is he feels MAD (in most cases)! He may cheat (especially if someone else is happy with something he did or does), he may drink, he may work too much, he may yell, he may hit you, or he may do absolutely nothing but lay around on the couch all day... Whatever he does to make that feeling go away. And that's why you got mad... Because YOU felt unsafe when he did what he did to make that feeling go away. But didn't you... And it's not your fault... It's those darn hormones(!)... Get mad first?
He's just a puppy dog at heart.
A puppy dog to you.
Happy at your feet.
He ADORES YOU.
But what if he lost you, what would he do then?
He has to somehow be PREPARED because if you're not happy, you may leave!!!
And the cycle continues.
Until you do the EFT statements shown below ;-).
Part 3: The EFT Statements
"Even though he's the one who did wrong, I just know it (!), I deeply and completely accept myself."
"Even though I'm right and need that confirmation by hearing him say he's wrong, I deeply and completely accept myself."
"Even though he won't admit to it, and maybe if he admitted to it, he would be the one that were wrong and then at least "I" could feel good about myself (because I can't otherwise), I deeply and completely accept myself."
The Tapping (just keep tapping the points and saying the following):
I don't feel good about myself
It's his fault
I don't feel good about myself
It's ALL his fault
I can't be wrong!
I'm bad enough!
I'm so bad!
Being wrong in this would make it even worse!
It HAS to be his fault!
I don't love myself as it is!
I'm the worst!
(Keep tapping on the things you don't like about yourself)
Well, maybe I'm not so bad.
(Tap on all the things that you like about yourself)
I AM pretty awesome.
I guess I can see why he would feel unsafe.
How about I take one for the team?
How about I admit he may have been worried about losing me and did things to make the feelings of "not safe" go away?
Okay ego, if you were to drop the need to be right and "let it go", how would that happen?
Part 4: In Conclusion
It doesn't really matter who's right and who's wrong anyway. Forgiveness heals.
If those EFT statements about you being bad about anything sound ridiculous, it should have.
You are perfect just the way you are.
In being so perfect, you have no need to think otherwise. You have no need to prove it. Perfection means realizing he's your loyal little puppy dog and he just wants you to be happy. He will be the best he can be... As long as you're happy.
Love yourself and he will love you too. ❤